blackbird online journal Spring 2008  Vol. 7  No. 1

GALLERY

Levis Found Portraits
Self-Representation
John Ravenal
David Roby



DAVID ROBY  |  Arts and Science

Act Two

Scene One: The Discovery

(NAAKTGEBOREN and DAMMOND stand at the front door, coats on and determined to leave. MISS JUSTESEN and AMELIA block the doorway as DANA GRAY sits on the bathtub couch with a large round case on wheels stage left. Much of the focus is concentrated on the contents of this case: fetuses and embryos floating in glass jars. The time is five-thirty a.m.)

NAAKTGEBOREN
’Cause it’s a freak show!

DAMMOND
It’s a freak show!

NAAKTGEBOREN
We’re not gonna stand around and watch a friggin’ freak show!

MISS JUSTESEN
It’s not freak show!

NAAKTGEBOREN
It’s disgusting.

AMELIA
I think it’s beautiful.

MISS JUSTESEN
Isn’t it?

DANA GRAY
You know what I call it? Eddie and Freddy and the Floating Embryo
Fantasmagoria.

NAAKTGEBOREN
It’s a freak show!

DANA GRAY
Each and every embryo comes directly to you by way of my mother’s womb.

AMELIA
It’s amazing!

DANA GRAY
In front of your very eyes are all nine of my older brothers and sisters.

NAAKTGEBOREN
They look like monsters.

DANA GRAY
Funny you should say that.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Let’s get out of here. We should have left a long time ago.

DANA GRAY
What makes you say that?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Absolute monsters.

DANA GRAY
Must I remind you about my siblings?

NAAKTGEBOREN
That you’re kind of like your siblings?

DANA GRAY
Just like my Bella-Beau.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Who’s Bella-Beau?

DANA GRAY
Especially Bella-Beau.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Which one is Bella-Beau? This right here is Bella-Beau?

DANA GRAY
Yes.

 
   Photo by Pete Guither

NAAKTGEBOREN
A hermaphrodite?

DANA GRAY
Yes.

NAAKTGEBOREN
It’s a hermaphrodite?

DANA GRAY
Yes.

NAAKTGEBOREN
This thing right here is a hermaphrodite?

DANA GRAY
Bella-Beau is a hermaphrodite.

NAAKTGEBOREN
So you’re a hermaphrodite?

DANA GRAY
A pseudohermaphrodite.

NAAKTGEBOREN
What’s the difference?

DANA GRAY
I have what’s known as ambiguous genitalia.

NAAKTGEBOREN
And what’s so ambiguous about your genitalia?

DANA GRAY
I have the sexual organs of a woman, but I also have the sexual characteristics of a man.

NAAKTGEBOREN
What kind of sexual characteristics?

(DANA GRAY points to DAMMOND as she is referring to the pamphlet.)

DANA GRAY
Well, it looks like in a lot of ways, I’m just like him.

            (Complete stillness.)

DAMMOND
I’m not a hermaphrodite.

DANA GRAY
Neither am I.

DAMMOND
But you just said . . .

DANA GRAY
A pseudohermaphrodite.

DAMMOND
I’m not a pseudohermaphrodite.

DANA GRAY
But you have the urethral displacement like a pseudohermaphrodite.

DAMMOND
What’s a urethral displacement?

DANA GRAY
Where your urethra is displaced.

DAMMOND
My urethra is not displaced.

DANA GRAY
Then where do you pee?

DAMMOND
Out of my penis.

DANA GRAY
What part of your penis?

DAMMOND
What do you mean?

DANA GRAY
Do you have a hole on your penis where you pee?

DAMMOND
Yes.

DANA GRAY
Where is it?

DAMMOND
At the tip of my fuckin’ penis.

DANA GRAY
When you pee, pee actually comes through a hole at the tip of your penis?

DAMMOND
Yes.

DANA GRAY
You pee, and pee comes out?

DAMMOND
Yes.

DANA GRAY
Through the tip of your penis?

DAMMOND
Why are you doing this?

DANA GRAY
Because it wasn’t always like that.  It can’t have always been like that.

DAMMOND
As far as I remember.

DANA GRAY
When you were born, it wasn’t like that.

DAMMOND
How do you know?

DANA GRAY
It’s a condition that goes hand in hand with your condition. If you were born with your bladder on the outside of your abdomen, then I guarantee you had a urethral opening displaced on the upperside of your penis.

DAMMOND
My urethral opening is at the tip of my penis.

DANA GRAY
But when you were born, it was on the upperside of your penis.

DAMMOND
And that makes me a hermaphrodite?

DANA GRAY
A pseudohermaphrodite.

DAMMOND
A hole on top of my penis when I was born does not make me a pseudohermaphrodite!

DANA GRAY
A lot like a pseudohermaphrodite!

DAMMOND
But I’m not a pseudohermaphrodite!

DANA GRAY
A pseudohermaphrodite has the urethral opening on the underside of the penis . . .

DAMMOND
But that’s not me.

DANA GRAY
And that displacement of the urethral opening on the underside of the penis makes it look a lot like a vagina.

DAMMOND
But a hole on top of my penis does not look like a vagina.

DANA GRAY
It’s actually more progressive. You’re what I call a progressive-pseudo. A progressive-pseudohermaphrodite. Both of the sexes are moving upward and forward, not dormant or recessive. You’re trying to be both. A pseudohermaphrodite is trying to deny one or the other. A progressive-pseudo is trying to embrace them both.

DAMMOND
That’s not true.

DANA GRAY
Both a penis and a vagina.

DAMMOND
It’s not a vagina.

NAAKTGEBOREN
You got a vagina-looking thing on top of your penis?

DAMMOND
I do not have a vagina!

NAAKTGEBOREN
That is so gross! Like “icky icky stay away from me that’s gross” gross.

DANA GRAY
A vagina is gross?

NAAKTGEBOREN
You gotta get rid of that vagina!

DAMMOND
Let’s get out of here!

NAAKTGEBOREN
You wanna get rid of that vagina? You probably got scars from having that vagina. Think about it. In the heat of passion. “Honey, where’d you get that scar?” “Oh, Sweetums, that’s where I used to have my vagina.” “Your vagina?” “My vagina!” “Get out of my fuckin’ bed, Vagina!”

AMELIA
I would never say anything like that!

NAAKTGEBOREN
Let’s get out of here.

DAMMOND
As fast as we can.

NAAKTGEBOREN
I’m with you.

DAMMOND
How soon can I have the surgeries?

NAAKTGEBOREN
I’ll bump you up to the top of the list.

DAMMOND
Thank God.

NAAKTGEBOREN
You’re welcome.

AMELIA
I’ve told you a hundred times, you don’t need to change your body.

DAMMOND
If I was born with a vagina-lookin’ thing on top of my penis, no matter what anybody says, I need to change my body.

(DANA GRAY hands DAMMOND a stack of papers.)

DANA GRAY
Have you ever read these papers? These medical papers?

DAMMOND
I don’t understand them.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Let’s go.

DAMMOND
They’re all in Latin or Italian or Greek or something.

(To NAAKTGEBOREN.)

You ready?

DANA GRAY
Where’d you get these papers?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Let’s get out of here.

DAMMOND
My mother sent them to me.

DANA GRAY
Your whole medical history is right here. Every operation. Every procedure. Every medical decision and detail is right here in front of your face. Anything and everything you need to know is right here. Did you know that?

DAMMOND
But I can’t read them.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Let’s go.

DANA GRAY
Have you ever seen this pamphlet?

DAMMOND
Yes.

DANA GRAY
It’s beautiful.

DAMMOND
Thank you.

AMELIA
What is it?

DANA GRAY
It looks so clean.

AMELIA
Let me see.

DANA GRAY
Do you mind?

DAMMOND
No.

AMELIA
Can I see it?

DANA GRAY
He’s got this mechanical device inside his body.

MISS JUSTESEN
Where?

NAAKTGEBOREN
We need to go.

DANA GRAY
Around your bladder, is that right?

DAMMOND
Yes.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Let’s go.

AMELIA
It looks like crystal.

MISS JUSTESEN
That’s inside you?

DAMMOND
Yes.

MISS JUSTESEN
It’s so beautiful.

DAMMOND (abruptly)
I have a painting of that!

NAAKTGEBOREN
We don’t have time for this.

MISS JUSTESEN
Oh, I need to see it!

DAMMOND
Just a second.

NAAKTGEBOREN
We’ll do it another time.

(DAMMOND pulls the painting from behind a stack of other canvases.)

DAMMOND
I painted it, because I like the name of it.

MISS JUSTESEN
What’s it called?

DAMMOND
It’s called the ART-800.

MISS JUSTESEN
I like that.

DAMMOND
I used to have the ART-920, but then they upgraded it, and now I have the ART-800.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Why are you doing this?

MISS JUSTESEN
So, you’ve got this machine inside your body called ART-800?

DAMMOND
Yes.

NAAKTGEBOREN
We need to go.

MISS JUSTESEN
It’s like Z-28 or DC-10.

DAMMOND
I guess.

MISS JUSTESEN
ART-800!

NAAKTGEBOREN
Are you coming with me?

DAMMOND
I’ll be right there.

AMELIA
It says right here when you were eight years old, your doctor sewed a “lyopholized dura patch on the dome of your bladder in an effort to give you an increased bladder capacity.” You know what this lyopholized dura patch is?

DAMMOND
No.

AMELIA
You received a tissue transplant when you were eight years old. And that tissue was flown all the way from Germany. They flew some German person’s brain from Berlin to Houston, and sewed some tissue from that German brain onto your bladder.

DAMMOND
German brain?

AMELIA
Yes.

DAMMOND
I have some German person’s German brain sewed onto my bladder?

AMELIA
Yes. “Transplanted tissue remains alive in the tissue receiver’s body. The phenomenon here is that the tissue donor’s brain function still may be working.” What does that mean?

MISS JUSTESEN
It seems as if your bladder’s got mind of its own.

DAMMOND
I can think with my bladder. Have memories with my bladder.

MISS JUSTESEN
Someone else’s memories.

DAMMOND
Oh, my God.

MISS JUSTESEN
Someone else’s thoughts. Their intelligence. Their creativity. Alive! . . . and living on your bladder!

(DANA GRAY reads from the medical papers.)

DANA GRAY
When you were born, your hip bones and pelvic bones were broken. Did you know that?

DAMMOND
Yes.

DANA GRAY
So you’ve had an osteotomy?

MISS JUSTESEN
Osteotomy?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Where they reshape his hips and pelvic bones, can we go now?

DANA GRAY
Did you have that?

DAMMOND
I used to have braces on both my legs.

NAAKTGEBOREN
He wouldn’t walk the way he walks right now if he hadn’t had an osteotomy.

DAMMOND
When I was two and I was three. I had this metal bar that went between my legs. From knee to knee. And  I remember my father used to carry me by that bar. Upside down. Like a suitcase. Like a briefcase. Like some human luggage. And he would carry me and swing me upside down. And it was fun. All my first memories I’ve ever had are of everything upside down. Buildings. Trees. And people. Growing from the sky. That’s how I remember things when I was young. Every single thing was upside down.

NAAKTGEBOREN
I would love to take away any physical reminders of any of your physical pain.

DAMMOND
You would?

NAAKTGEBOREN
All your scars and hard scar tissue. Just zap it away, so nothing haunts you anymore.

DAMMOND
That’s what I need.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Then we better go.

DANA GRAY
I’d never change my body.

MISS JUSTESEN
That’s exactly how I feel, too.

DANA GRAY
Like you.

MISS JUSTESEN
Especially you. Lot of great things about your body.

AMELIA
That’s what I’ve already told him.

MISS JUSTESEN
Part brain and part machine. Inside your urinary system. I find that quite intriguing.

DAMMOND
I find it vulgar.

MISS JUSTESEN
How’s it vulgar?

DAMMOND
It’s unnatural. Anything unnatural is vulgar. You all are so lucky.

MISS JUSTESEN
Lucky?

DAMMOND
All of your biggest problems are your most obvious problems. I’d love it if my biggest problem was real obvious. So everybody knew my most obvious problems.

MISS JUSTESEN
You wouldn’t want it that way.

DAMMOND
But it’s hard to walk around and have people not understand the reason why I behave or act or react a certain way. It’s hard. No one knows what’s going on inside.

MISS JUSTESEN
That’s same for everyone.

NAAKTGEBOREN
I’ve always been amazed by that one thing.

DAMMOND
What’s that?

NAAKTGEBOREN
That it’s all the same for everyone.

DAMMOND
What’s the same?

NAAKTGEBOREN
That we’re all the same inside. No matter what color, what shape, what texture, what emotions or ideas anyone might have—we’re all the same inside. We’ve all got the same color of blood. The same whiteness of bone.

DAMMOND
You’re right.

NAAKTGEBOREN
You can take comfort in that.

AMELIA
I don’t know why people always say that. “We’re all the same inside.”

DAMMOND
He’s right.

NAAKTGEBOREN
’Cause it’s true.

AMELIA
It’s not true. None of us is the same inside! How can you say that we’re all the same inside?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Because I’ve seen us, and we all look the same inside.

AMELIA
How can you say his bladder and his urinary system is like everybody else’s bladders and urinary systems?

NAAKTGEBOREN
I’ve cut open so many people’s bodies, I should know we’re all the same inside. We’ve all got bones and brains and blood.

AMELIA
But there are different types of blood. We have different types of blood, we have different types of tissues, we have different types of organs and organ systems and different types of bodies—it’s obvious. You of all people should know that that’s obvious.

NAAKTGEBOREN
All I’m saying is our blood is the same inside. Our bones are alike inside.

AMELIA
No.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Yes.

MISS JUSTESEN
Do you really think your bones are exactly like my bones?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Other than the size of your bones—yes.

MISS JUSTESEN (with great dignity)
I was born with osteogenesis imperfecta.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Sounds frightful.

MISS JUSTESEN
It is.

AMELIA
What’s that?

MISS JUSTESEN
Degenerative bone disease where bones are continually crumbling all time. Right now, as we speak, my bones are breaking away. Grain by grain. Grit by grit. Boneless. Cartilageless. Spineless. That’s what I have to look forward to in my old age. Being spineless and alive at same time. How’s that sound to you? Having your skull deteriorate, so your brain feels like jelly? Having your ankles deplete, so you walk, until you walk no more, like jelly. Having your fingers waste away their sockets, so you sculpt and paint like jelly. When I was only twelve years old, my pelvis had already concaved in in such way making it impossible for me to ever bear child. My body has always deceived my age. Everyone treats me like citizen senior. But I’m not even thirty years young yet. My insides are nothing like your insides.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Dana Gray—

DANA GRAY
I’m scared of this.

NAAKTGEBOREN
I bet our insides even look alike inside.

DANA GRAY
I doubt that’s true.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Even though you’re somewhat hermaphroditic, and even though I’m somewhat not, I bet even hormonally . . .

DANA GRAY
Hormonally?

NAAKTGEBOREN
. . . we’re a lot alike inside.

DANA GRAY
Don’t get me started.

NAAKTGEBOREN
We’re hormonally alike inside . . .

DANA GRAY
No!

NAAKTGEBOREN
. . . because we all started out being hormonally alike inside.

(He puts his arm around DAMMOND.)

Isn’t that right?

DAMMOND
Because we’re all created equal.

(NAAKTGEBOREN squeezes DAMMOND tightly.)

NAAKTGEBOREN
Exactly.

DANA GRAY
I can’t believe you’d say that.

DAMMOND
What?

DANA GRAY
The Greatest Assumption Ever Made.

DAMMOND
What’s that?

DANA GRAY
That we’re all created equal.

DAMMOND
But we are.

DANA GRAY
In this very group of people, none of us is created equal.

NAAKTGEBOREN
All of us, the image of God.

DANA GRAY
Then why change people’s bodies, which, to you, are in the image of God?

NAAKTGEBOREN
I don’t change people’s image of God!

DANA GRAY
Then explain to me, what do you change?

NAAKTGEBOREN
I change people’s bodies into the image of God!

(DANA GRAY lifts up NAAKTGEBOREN’s pamphlets.)

DANA GRAY
This, to me, does not look like the image of God.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Then you tell me.

DANA GRAY
What?

NAAKTGEBOREN
What do you think?

DANA GRAY
What?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Is the image of God?

DANA GRAY
Anything imaginable and everything that’s not.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Anything?

DANA GRAY
Yes.

NAAKTGEBOREN
There’s a lot of things imaginable that I can imagine that have nothing to do with the image of God.

DANA GRAY
Like what?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Pornography. Stealing. Fucking behind your boyfriend’s back. That’s not the image of God.

DANA GRAY
Somewhere, some place, in all of that, you can always find the image of God.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Then you show me . . . if you believe all that, then somewhere some place in all of these, you must be able to find the image of God.

DANA GRAY
It’s distorted. A distorted image of God.

NAAKTGEBOREN
I disagree.

DANA GRAY
Fine.

NAAKTGEBOREN
You are different.

DANA GRAY
Then you don’t disagree! If you know I’m different, then you don’t disagree!

NAAKTGEBOREN
Yes!

DANA GRAY
We are all different!

NAAKTGEBOREN
Your whole family’s different.

DANA GRAY
Very different.

NAAKTGEBOREN
What’s it like to have your whole family floating in a jar?

DANA GRAY
Everybody’s different.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Do you ever charge admission?

DANA GRAY
Everybody’s body is different.

MISS JUSTESEN
I agree.

NAAKTGEBOREN
It’s exactly like a freak show!

DANA GRAY
Our bodies. Our minds. Our rhythms. Our energies. The way we walk. The way we even chew our food is different. My pseudohermaphroditism in me is caused by the abnormal functioning of my very different hormones in my very different endocrine system. His congenital problems in him are affected by the functioning of his very different hormones in his very different endocrine system. Miss Justesen is affected by her very different hormones in her very different endocrine system. A twin or any other person anywhere at any time is affected by his or her very different hormones in his or her very different endocrine systems. All of our basic fundamental life processes are all regulated by our . . .

(NAAKTGEBOREN joins in.)

DANA GRAY/NAAKTGEBOREN
. . . very different hormones in our very different endocrine systems.

DANA GRAY
Yes!

NAAKTGEBOREN
But there are other systems in our bodies other than the endocrine system!

DANA GRAY
But none of which affects our nerves, our behaviors, our mannerisms in such a dominating way . . .

NAAKTGEBOREN
You give the hormones much too much weight.

DANA GRAY
You know why?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Because you’re fucked.

DANA GRAY
Because the traits of each and every one of our personalities depend and rely on the normal functioning of the hormones in our endocrine systems.

NAAKTGEBOREN
That’s a crock of shit.

DANA GRAY
It’s responsible for giving you personality.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Bullshit.

DANA GRAY
Character.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Bullshit.

DANA GRAY
Integrity.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Bullshit.

DANA GRAY
But you wouldn’t know much about that, now would you?

MISS JUSTESEN
I always thought if we were all intended to be alike inside, then we’d all have same favorite color, same favorite song, same favorite movie, fabric, food, sexual position, book, pair of pants, vacation spot.

NAAKTGEBOREN
That’s just a bunch of crazy bullshit.

MISS JUSTESEN
There’d be no differentiation. There’d be no color. There’d be no Dana Gray. Only Dana White or Dana Black, but no Dana Gray. I can’t think of anything more dull and boring than life without Dana Gray.

NAAKTGEBOREN
How boring!

MISS JUSTESEN
You take away my height or lack thereof, and you take away me. You take away his art and you take away his scars, you take away his crazy bladder and his disease, and you take away him. You alter anything about anybody here, and you take us away. Each and every one of our bodies contains specific dimensions of our bodies for very specific reasons.

NAAKTGEBOREN
For reasons? You’re telling me there’s reasons? Why you’re a midget?

MISS JUSTESEN
I’m not midget!

NAAKTGEBOREN
And reasons why he’s got his fucked-up bladder? Reasons why it’s an it and not a him or her, there’s reasons? Why I’m a twin, you have no doubt, there’s reasons? Reasons why this embryo’s only got one eye? And reasons why this one’s got reptilian skin? Why she looks like a penguin? And why he looks like a mule? There’s reasons? Other than some Elephant Man and Lollipop Guild and Lullaby League and pinhead reasons, you’re telling me there’s reasons?

MISS JUSTESEN
Yes.

NAAKTGEBOREN
I see no reasons. All I see is the monster reason. Step right up and see the freakish monster, stare it in the face, that’s reason. Laugh. Point. Stare. Kick it in the shins. Kick it in the face. Kick away their walking sticks, that’s reason.

DANA GRAY
Laugh?

NAAKTGEBOREN
They’re monsters.

DANA GRAY
Ridicule?

NAAKTGEBOREN
They’re monsters.

DANA GRAY
Judge?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Your brothers and your sisters look like monsters.

DANA GRAY
My mother . . .

NAAKTGEBOREN
Monster!

DANA GRAY
. . . was quoted as saying upon the appearance of each of her offspring, “My children . . .”

NAAKTGEBOREN
Monsters!

DANA GRAY
“. . . are not monsters.”

NAAKTGEBOREN
They’re monsters.

DANA GRAY
“They are not to be ridiculed, laughed at, or negatively judged. My children are exceptions. Like in other forms of nature, they are sometimes regarded as beautiful and bewildering. A four-leaf clover. A shrub with one white rose. The runt of a horse’s litter.  A monkey with two tails. Is it not the same?”

NAAKTGEBOREN
They’re monsters.

DANA GRAY
“Is she not the Grand Canyon? Is he not a bonsai tree? Are they not the mirror image of a strange chameleon or all the falling stars we’ve seen?” And every night before I’d go to sleep, she’d repeat those words to me and whisper in my ear, “But you, my dear, are the Pyramids of Egypt. Among all my Walking Wonders of the Ancient World, you are the only one still standing.”

NAAKTGEBOREN
You’re playing God. All three of you are playing God.

MISS JUSTESEN
We are not playing God.

NAAKTGEBOREN
You’re trying to figure things out about your bodies and how your bodies have been created, justifying it, and that’s playing God.

MISS JUSTESEN
And how’s that playing God?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Not taking no for an answer.

MISS JUSTESEN
Sounds like your job.

DANA GRAY
Exactly.

MISS JUSTESEN
And what is it exactly you do for living, Mister Naaktgeboren?

NAAKTGEBOREN
You’re trying to change how your bodies have been created, while at TransFormations, we change the way our bodies have become. It’s far less threatening than changing how our bodies have been created.

MISS JUSTESEN
We’re not trying to change it!

NAAKTGEBOREN
You’re just unhappy with the body God has given you, so you’re trying to get back at God.

MISS JUSTESEN
Then if we’re trying to get back at God, and we’re playing God, then aren’t we just getting back at ourselves?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Bingo!

MISS JUSTESEN
That is not at all what we’re doing! I like my body.

NAAKTGEBOREN
I like my body, too. That’s why God gave me two of them.

MISS JUSTESEN
Then why do you try so hard to look so different?

NAAKTGEBOREN
We only try to maximize our most prominent features to their fullest potentials.

MISS JUSTESEN
For what reason?

NAAKTGEBOREN
To look good.

MISS JUSTESEN
To look good? I’d never change my body.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Even the way it was created? The way that you have aged?

MISS JUSTESEN
Never.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Even if I could make you tall?

MISS JUSTESEN
You can’t make me tall!

NAAKTGEBOREN
But if I could.

MISS JUSTESEN
I don’t want to be tall!

NAAKTGEBOREN
But you just said . . .

MISS JUSTESEN
I like way my body’s been created.

(Pause.)

I love way my body’s been created.

AMELIA
We never said anything about the way our bodies have been created.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Would you ever change your body?

AMELIA
No.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Never again? Even if you could? Right this second? Back to the way it was? Before your surgery? Before your accident?

AMELIA
Before it happened?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Yes.

AMELIA
Yes.

NAAKTGEBOREN
You would?

AMELIA
Because of scars. Do you see all these scars on my neck?

NAAKTGEBOREN
I don’t see any scars on your neck.

AMELIA
That’s the reason why. I used to have scars on the left side of my neck. Ever since I was two. I had these scars. Looked just like a fire. Three flames of a fire. And Amanda—

NAAKTGEBOREN
Who’s Amanda?

AMELIA
My twin sister. She has a scar on this side of her neck that looks exactly like a wheel. A perfect circle with symmetrical spokes just like a wheel. Do you know why we’d have these scars?

DAMMOND
Why?

AMELIA
It’s where we were separated when we were two. We were connected at the neck when we were born.

NAAKTGEBOREN
And it all comes together.

DAMMOND
What happened to your scars?

AMELIA
I had them removed.

DAMMOND
Why?

AMELIA
I had surgery.

DAMMOND
Why remove your scars?

AMELIA
When I woke up from surgery after my accident, the surgeon looked down at me and smiled and said to me that I’d be extremely happy. That not only had she fixed all the scars and gashes on my face but she had also “cosmetically corrected the horrendous scar that disfigured the left side” of my neck. It was always the coolest, coolest, coolest thing for my sister and me. We used to place each other’s fingers—these two fingers—on one another’s scars and we’d take each other’s pulses from each other’s necks until our pulses exactly matched in rhythm. We kind of discovered that or invented that. That was always our little debate. Was it a discovery or an invention? We never did agree. Like the hugest discovery or the hugest invention. Just like the fire, just like the wheel.

(To DAMMOND.)

Do you have any scars on your body that you really like?

DAMMOND
I have one that looks just like an airplane. But it’s the only scar I like. I used to put makeup over all my other scars to conceal all my other scars. But it never worked.  It only magnified the scars. So eventually I would intentionally magnify the scars with other kinds of makeup. Not just with base or foundation or anything that’s beige or tan, but I started painting all my scars with mascara and lipstick and eye shadow and iodine my doctor gave me. And sometimes I wouldn’t take it off. I remember walking around the neighborhood, thinking no one would ever guess that beneath my clothes I have painted scars. And on weekends after I had painted all my scars, a few blocks away from my house was a nursing home, and I’d march up to the front desk and tell the nurse or assistant or receptionist or whoever the person was, I’d say, “I’m here to make an old person smile.” And they’d take me to  a room and close the door behind them, leaving me all alone with five or six older people. And I would dance for the older people with their never knowing that I had scars. Except this one old man—he was always there—he had to know—this old man who had scars all over his face. I told him, “You should put makeup over all your scars.” And he said to me, “I have scars to remind me.” And I said nothing. And we were silent. And then he’d say again, “I have scars to remind me.” And I’d just dance around the room for all the real old people. I’d dance around the room and kick my legs. Always to the rhythm, “None of them know that I got scars. None of them know that I got scars. None of them know that I got scars.”

(DAMMOND soft shoes his way through the rhythm, repeating the words and lightly kicking his legs, reminiscing. This continues for a while.)

DAMMOND (cont’d)
Ever since I was a little kid, I used to think about landscapes.

AMELIA
What kind of landscapes?

DAMMOND
It just hit me.

AMELIA
What?

DAMMOND
Dana Gray?

DANA GRAY
Yes?

DAMMOND
You said that you think we all think differently?

DANA GRAY
Yes.

DAMMOND
So we might breathe differently? And see differently? Sometimes concerning the exact same thing?

DANA GRAY
Of course.

DAMMOND
So we perceive and draw and smell and eat and paint and decide and crave and crawl and need and dance and hear and write and run and taste and sweat and fight and sleep and lick our lips and kiss with lips and walk and predict and have déjà vu and concentrate and judge and touch differently than anybody else?

DANA GRAY
Exactly.

DAMMOND
So then I was right all along.

DANA GRAY
About what?

DAMMOND
When I was a kid, I used to have those exact same thoughts when I was a kid. But then I’d deny them and bury them and throw them away.

DANA GRAY
Why?

DAMMOND
Because they were too big for a three-year-old. Too big for an eight-year-old. Even thirteen and fifteen—even eighteen. Thoughts too big for me until right now.

MISS JUSTESEN
What kind of thoughts?

DAMMOND
They’re everywhere.

MISS JUSTESEN
What do you mean?

DAMMOND
Should I show them to you?

MISS JUSTESEN
What are they?

DAMMOND
Paintings.

MISS JUSTESEN
Of what?

DAMMOND
Internal landscapes. Landscapes of how I visualize my body when I allow myself to visualize my body that way inside.

(DAMMOND circles the room overturning numerous wooden boxes, dumping out their contents and revealing intricately detailed paintings on the interior of each box. He lines them up across the room.) 

DAMMOND (cont’d)
Beautiful landscapes.

MISS JUSTESEN (taken aback)
God!

DAMMOND
I love these landscapes!

MISS JUSTESEN
So do I.

DAMMOND
I forgot about these landscapes.

MISS JUSTESEN
Just amazing.

DAMMOND
With plateaus and valleys. And mountains and hills and lakes and ponds and oceans and seas. We don’t have to go to all these distant exotic places to find warmth and beauty on some romantic island if only we close our eyes and visualize the beautiful geography contained inside our very bodies. Just to know we have these beautiful places inside. No need to go so far, so external. No need to be complacent. Just to know. Just to know they’re there. Romantic oceans where our bladder seduces our kidneys. Amazing horizons where our lungs dance on air with our liver and our heart and our spleen. Rocky caves and strange sponge-like formations in our bones. Rivers of blood and streams and waterfalls that reach over a hundred degrees sometimes. Underground tunnels of air. Waving hills in the linings of our stomachs. Natural mazes and puzzles and labyrinths inside the ear. All these gorgeous places that we’ve all got inside. All these landscapes of the bladder and the kidneys. How they form a country of land and ocean. All in one. I have three kidneys. Did I ever tell you that?

AMELIA
No.

DAMMOND
It’s kind of like some compromise or consolation gift, I guess, for having such a crazy bladder.

MISS JUSTESEN
Your bladder is polygamist.

DAMMOND
A polygamist?

MISS JUSTESEN
If he seduces all your kidneys into his very romantic ocean, then he is polygamist.

DAMMOND
Then everybody’s bladder is at least a bigamist.

MISS JUSTESEN
That’s true.

DANA GRAY
Not mine. My bladder’s monogamous.

DAMMOND
How so?

DANA GRAY
I only got one kidney.

MISS JUSTESEN
You do all right with just one kidney?

DANA GRAY
I’d do all right with just one more.

DAMMOND
I wish I could give you one of mine.

DANA GRAY
I wish so, too.

DAMMOND
I could have a really great scar from giving you a kidney.

DANA GRAY
You don’t need another scar.

NAAKTGEBOREN
The Thing’s right. You don’t need another scar.

DAMMOND
All the scars I have are scars from getting. This would be the only scar I’d have from giving. I’d let the whole damn world see that I had a scar from giving. I’d never put any makeup on that giving scar. I’d draw arrows around that scar. Look at me with this big long scar.

NAAKTGEBOREN
The Giving Scar? Come on! A scar’s a scar and all scars do is take. They take and take and take and take. I don’t know about anybody else here, but I cannot afford to take unnecessary scars.

DAMMOND
Walking Works of Art, they have no scars! Microscopic scars don’t count. Naked to the eye don’t count, Naaktgeboren.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Big.

DAMMOND
Big what?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Big scars.

DAMMOND
Fuck you! Perfection does not have a fucking scar. I’d have a scar on my whole body if it were a scar from giving. If it came from giving someone something, give me a scar on my whole body.

NAAKTGEBOREN
No one wants a scar on their whole body.

DAMMOND
What do you know about scars, Naaktgeboren?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Believe me. You wouldn’t want a scar on your whole body. Believe me. Just believe me.

(Slight pause.)

DANA GRAY
Your voice sounds different when you talk like that.

NAAKTGEBOREN
How so?

DANA GRAY
“Believe me. Just believe me.” Kind of like it’s the only real thing you’ve really ever said all night. Your voice gets deep when you get sincere.

NAAKTGEBOREN
Your voice gets deep when you get mad.

DANA GRAY
Like a man?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Like a foghorn.

DANA GRAY
That deep?

NAAKTGEBOREN
Real deep.

MISS JUSTESEN
That’s deep. I like sound of foghorn.

(MISS JUSTESEN makes the sound of a foghorn loud and long. There is a ringing in the air as if the foghorn were like a chant. MISS JUSTESEN starts the sound again. Everyone in the room joins in. Loud and long in perfect pitch. This could continue for quite some time. The “ohm” sound should fill the room and cleanse the space. They sit in silence. Dazed. Feeling the change in the air, everyone exhales almost in unison. NAAKTGEBOREN crosses into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.)

MISS JUSTESEN (cont’d)
Where’d he disappear to?

(DAMMOND points to the bathroom.)

MISS JUSTESEN (cont’d)
Washing away his sins, no doubt.

AMELIA
Probably so.

DANA GRAY
I mustn’t forget my family.

(Crossing to her box.)

Never forget your family.

AMELIA
I’ll remember that.

MISS JUSTESEN
Oh, I want continental breakfast!

DAMMOND
Really?

MISS JUSTESEN
I love continental breakfast!

DAMMOND
I’ve never been so big on continental breakfasts.

MISS JUSTESEN
Coffee, juice, and pastries. Anything that has little Danish is A-OK with me.

(DANA GRAY exits. MISS JUSTESEN follows.)

MISS JUSTESEN (cont’d)
I have such strong libido for continental breakfast

(MISS JUSTESEN and DANA GRAY gather their belongings and leave. They exit almost as if in a trance—very fluid and serene with peaceful smiles and the kind of exhalations that only come out of exhaustion and staying up all night. The door to the loft apartment is left open.)

DAMMOND (abruptly)
I just did something.

AMELIA
What?

DAMMOND
Inside my mind. Somewhere inside my mind, something clicked. Some part of me, a very specific part of me, searched inside my mind for a column or a grid or an index—some thin tubular millimeter of tissue holding stacks and stacks of so many negative thoughts and memories in a millimeter of tissue. Right here. All filed away. A hair-strand size of a structure. Lined with a zillion triggers that from the most simple singular sensory moment extracts another seed that grows another ingrown psychological tree inside my head, inside my mind. Blocking every other potential root or tree or seed or some kind of understanding or advancement in my mind. Behind my face, behind my eyes. It’s like instantaneously I became my brain.  This big, thick, pink terrain of acreage of land, pulsing with thinking ideas and thoughts. With valleys and deserts and mountains. And some bigger, higher part of me flew over. And with that bird’s eye view, I saw the part of me I needed to pull and yank and uproot. Crowded weeds and trees no longer worthwhile in the columns of that past existence.

AMELIA
You just did that?

DAMMOND
Right in there. Weeds. Weeds I had cultivated, I just now irrigated, got rid of, so fresh, new, more-fertile crops could grow. All around. New seeds being planted all around. And from some dirty swamp-like muddy place—just like that—I created the most beautiful open space that I just made inside for you. Such an open gorgeous space for you and me to plant new seeds. A quiet place where we can travel. Where we can get away without running away. For you to know me and for me to know you.

AMELIA
I’m not running away.

(There is a long silence as DAMMOND and AMELIA stare at each other. Their focus on one another is immense. During this silence between them, NAAKTGEBOREN emerges from the bathroom. He is quiet and contemplative. He has removed a considerable amount of cosmetic make-up which leaves him with splotchy pale uneven skin. He is so light he possibly may be albino or afflicted with some other skin condition. He crosses to his briefcase, but leaves it behind. NAAKTGEBOREN exits.)

DAMMOND
But seriously, my body . . .

AMELIA
What about your body?

DAMMOND
My body is perfect.

AMELIA
That’s right.

DAMMOND
Like yours . . .

AMELIA
That’s right.

DAMMOND
We’re so perfect, we will barely be able to contain ourselves.

AMELIA
That’s right. You’re right.

DAMMOND
I know I am.

AMELIA
You’re exactly, exactly right.

(DAMMOND offers AMELIA his hands. She places her hands inside his. This is the first time they should touch each other throughout the play. DAMMOND lifts two fingers and places them on her neck. She mirrors him. This should evoke the image of AMELIA and her twin. Then AMELIA touches his shoulders and he shakes. Hesitantly, she touches his neck and begins stroking his back. He lies on his stomach, but she turns him over. She shakes her head. With every gentle touch, a thousand shocks explode throughout each others’ bodies. Painful at times. Awkward at times, they continue breaking their physical barriers. Sounds of fear and tears, but mostly breathing—hesitant, holding, large releases, static, and soft. They continue. Soft and eerie and struggling for acceptance.)

(Blackout. END OF PLAY.)  

    Act One


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